Persistence in the Face of Adversity
As you may or may not know, I’m an “engineer-turned-coach”, running a consulting business while navigating many personal life changes. To be honest, I’ve had much more success at engineering and project management work than I have at coaching, which begs the question: why persist?
I have a confession to make: during all the turmoil in my life, I have been tempted to put this business on pause and get a “real job” (and I still may). Running a business can be a lonely, scary experience! As a result of my divorce and recent health issues, I have been unable to work much over the last several months which has had a huge financial impact without paid sick days. I’m not going to lie, it has been tough af. But still, I persist.
How I Got Here
Trying to become a coach sounded like such a great idea in 2022 when I started my corporation “Kismet Consulting”. The catalyst to be “brave enough to suck at something new” was to honor all my talents within my career in the wake of devastating burnout at work. I had spent my career pushing, chasing, striving (very masculine energy) to build my reputation and to build a solid resume. I succeeded! I had all the letters after my name, and I took pride in conducting myself in a manner that was “confident yet humble” while managing projects. I was proud of the work I was doing, but my body told a different story, and I ended up in the hospital with some issues that completely derailed me. Persistence was put on hold for a while because I had no choice…
I realized that all this masculine energy wasn’t allowing me to be my whole self, nor was it honoring all my talents because it was suppressing my feminine side – the side that was emotionally intelligent and soft. My empathy, intuition and kindness are some of my best qualities as a human! So, I began my business and learned to be a coach so that I could honor that side of myself but so far, I feel I haven’t been successful. Luckily, I have engineering and project management that help keep the lights on, and they do satisfy my logical mind, but what about the feminine?
My "Raison d'Etre"
Trying to run a successful coaching and speaking business has felt like pushing a boulder up a hill, which has made me wonder: why DO I persist, especially in a market that feels saturated by people trying to offer advice and sell quick fixes? Why do I continue to post about my journey and try to connect with other people, even when engagement is very low and I feel like I’m talking to an empty room?
Here’s why: because it honors my feminine side and because my heart tells me that there are other STEM professionals out there who are struggling, particularly women. I persist because I have a unique way of making healing accessible to a population of people who are logical thinkers; in other words, I can help professionals avert an energy crisis (aka burnout) by translating healing into a language that STEM people can understand. I can not only explain the science behind a particular modality (such as sound healing), I can also connect them to that tool and show them that they can prioritize their own health and well-being and still be successful. In fact, they will be even more successful because they’ll be balancing those masculine and feminine energies – working hard to build their career while still allowing for softness, self-compassion and healing. I can show tech and engineering companies how they can increase retention and improve their employees’ performance by developing them in a way that balances their drive to succeed with their very human need for self-care and boundaries.
I'll Keep on Keeping On!
So, I will continue to put out content because I know that there will be a person out there someday, somewhere who I can help with my story. I will keep doing this because I wish I had access to this knowledge when I felt so exhausted and alone and ashamed because I wasn’t able to perform any more. I hope that by being vulnerable and sharing my experiences, I’ll be inspiring someone else to do the same while avoiding their own energy crisis.
I know that I have beautiful things to share with the world by being authentically me! I will keep doing technical work to make a living (I am so grateful to have that!) while putting my heart out there to connect to other STEM professionals struggling to find joy and vitality in their lives. If I end up making a living from doing that, it will be a complete dream, but I know I’ll be alright either way. I’ll be honoring the beauty and fullness of being a complex, messy, loving human woman trying to connect in this world of AI, “social” media, and curated experiences.
I intend to keep using both my logical mind and healer’s heart for the rest of my career, because balancing the masculine and feminine parts of myself is what helps me engineer my energy and keeps me fulfilled and happy. If I can create community and support other people while supporting myself, even better. So, to that end: persist I must!
Much love, take care of yourselves!
xo Karen
